With no further ado the questions:
1. I’m inventing a new yoga position inspired by you. What does it look like and what shall I call it?
Imagine me, a laptop in my lap, laying on a leather recliner, cell phone and 1.25m handheld radio to my right. Angie the cat to my left. Call it “assuming horizontal polarization”.
2. What is your quest?
Oh this one is easy. I want to shatter the likes of National Grid, Verizon, Cox, Comcast and the whole kit and caboodle into a million little fucking tiny pieces. And to make enough money to own a few politicians. Once that’s the case – perhaps get myself appointed as Chair of the FCC. I’m so sick and tired of the lawyers driving that organization – let we engineering types have the reigns for awhile.
3. Ghengis Khan or Snooki? Why?
Ghenis Khan – at least I understand that kind of ambition and on the other hand, Snooki is essentially a whore.
4. What does the color turquoise smell like?
There’s a little spot in the Ocala National Forest called Juniper Springs. It’s a small body of water that smells like the everglades and the water sparkles a bright blue. It’s beautiful
5. I’m giving you butterscotch candies, cabbage, yak milk, and escargot. What sort of tasty dish will you prepare for me?
A cabbage and yaks milk reduction and buttered, steamed escargot seasoned with a little thyme, salt, and pepper. Then the butterscotch candy can be melted down into a butterscotch pudding with milk and starch.
6. If you wear garlic around your neck to keep vampires away, what should you wear to keep zombies away?
Ground zombie! At least as to what I’ve learned from the AMC series The Walking Dead. I’ve also learned that a crossbow really IS the ultimate weapon. And it’s COMPLETELY legal.
7. What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
Slightly faster than one with a full belly?
8. Tell me a story involving a bathtub of macaroni, a red wagon, and a head of state.
John Boehner visited, fell into a red wagon and because the floor had a slight grade to it fell right in the tub of macaroni. But because he is the Orange Goblin, the macaroni looked like Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.
9. Invent a family game using a pile of lentils and a thimble.
Pickup! Using the thimble of course. Whoever picks up the most off the table/floor first wins.
10. You may not use paint or wallpaper. With what will you cover your walls?
Stucco or brick. Yes I’m boring that way. However I could integrated a bunch of LED’s and EL-Wire into it and make it glow.
Anytime, anyplace. Remember that old Janet Jackson song – ooo that was a good one to knock some boots to back in the day.
Another good one from her is That’s the Way Love Goes: