Life’s little gifts

One gift I have is being able to sneak up on people and then scaring the shit out of them. I love the registration of surprise and shock when they realize I’ve snuck up on them. It’s one of life’s gifts and pleasures.

Another of those gifts is having a dry, sarcastic wit. I regularly crack up people at work.

Then of course there’s my gift in how I deal with vendors who displease me. In more than a few places I’ve worked I’ve been told that people who heard my conversations with certain shipping companies, that I’m really persuasive and I can be downright rude but in a nice way. In essence I can call you an asshole and you’ll thank me for it. Last demonstration of this is when I told the UPS President’s office that they were inept and idiotic.

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